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How Macworld Affects Music: Dream ‘Duets’



This was Status’s idea

Dream Duets for Cowell’s Duets

As Status reports, American Idol creator Simon Cowell has just sold Fox the rights to a new prog called Duets. The show puts a celebrity who can’t sing with a professional singer (but not a celebrity, so this should be fun), and together they try to convince a panel of judges etc., etc., etc..

This news is shit-hot, not much in the way of details except Cowell’s not judging and there’s also a show coming out called Ethiopian Idol. Meantime we’ve compiled a list of possible, probable if not definite celebrity-singer “duets” you can expect from Duets, whenever the show does hit:

Howard Stern and David Lee Roth. This is a no-brainer. Take a shock-jock famous for the fact that he’s not a great singer, and another shock-jock who’s not very famous anymore but can still sorta sing, make them sing together, then–make them lesbian-kiss.

Eddie Van Halen and James Saito a/k/a the Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Most people know Van Halen for his guitar-shredding abilities and Saito for his shredding face, but few know about Saito’s shredding voice. In a perfect episode, Saito would teach Van Halen how to “shred,” Van Halen would teach Saito how to shred, and at the end Casey Jones would come out and admit he has self-confidence issues.

Matt Drudge and Biohazard.“Drudgement Night.” Please make this happen.

Ruben Studdard, Arnold Reuben, and Paul Reubens. Famous for inventing the Reuben sandwich, Arnold Reuben does a duet with Ruben Studdard consisting entirely of Studdard eating sandwiches. On stage left sitting indian-style is Paul Reubens, a/k/a Pee-Wee Herman–he’s not furiously masturbating, but he keeps screaming about how he really wants to.

Luciano Mares and the mouse that set his house on fire. Not sure if show producers will remember this “duet” or like it enough to put it on national television, nevertheless, I hope you enjoy the joke Jay Leno makes tonight about “Danger Mouse.”

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