Forget what you’ve heard about being your own worst enemy. In Perception, it’s friends and family who really screw a girl over. That girl, Jen, is played by Piper Perabo with a disarming lack of annoyance. She’s your run-of-the-mill caustic Brooklyn weirdo, until an oncoming truck lands her in a high-tech wheelchair. Suddenly, she’s wearing headbands, grinning with Perabo’s famed elasticity, and cruising to a quick recovery.

This should be funny or sad, but it’s neither, in this incoherent cross between Riding the Bus With My Sister and a Christina Ricci vehicle. Just when Jen’s back on her feet, the real problems start: heroin addicts, lunatic parents, a flight to Pakistan, and a series of utterly predictable demises. The problem, we learn, is her “perception,” but what does perception have to do with a strung-out physical therapist and a gun-wielding, vegan ex-girlfriend? That’s cool, though; Jen’s looking as chipper as Gwen Stefani in her new tracksuit. It’s so hip to be chaired.