Someone should ban Valentine’s Day. In that spirit, get your bitter, jaded, single, lonely self to Love Bites!, Cathy Cervenka’s annual public commiseration with the best tearjerker love songs ever—power ballads. Sing along, wave your lighter in the air, and feel the love as her assorted motley crew sings the Cr “Home Sweet Home,” Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” or Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine.” While everyone else is fixated on the early- and mid-’80s new wave, venture to that other, less cool part of the decade and sing along. With DJ Dario Speedwagon. Tue @ 9:30, Don Hill’s, 511 Greenwich St, 212-219-2850

Finally, a party that doesn’t have a name designed to make you think of cooties. Though the parties themselves may be cute, do we need more lowlife club names like Trash, Shit Hammered, Rated X, etc.? No. Nouveau, presented by promoters Mike Nouveau and Jaidee isn’t totally new (it started a few months ago), but the night’s headliner, Larry Tee (who’s been around the block more times than you can count), makes it a point to push a mix of new techno, in between the better-known trendy tracks. Very stealth, that Larry. With DJs H.P. Lovecraft and Brendon James. Tue @ 10, Fat Baby, 112 Rivington, 212-533-1888

Warm up for Valentine’s Day with some techno from Superpitcher—of the esteemed Kompakt label—and the return of Stewart Walker, (performing a live p.a.), who left these shores for Berlin a while ago. Pitchfork called the man behind Superpitcher, Aksel Schaufler, Kompakt’s “resident softie.” Naming his album, a collection of voluptuous techno, Here Comes Love, with track names like “Lovers Rock” and “Love Me Forever,” will do little to dispel this notion. Swoon. Thu @ 10, Canal Room, 285 W Bway, 212-941-8100