No monarch worth her rouge drones the postman blues or implores the Lord. Mercifully, Lindsay Lohan turns chaste tricks while preserving the hair ‘n’ nails ethos. Most of A Little More Personal (Raw), however, is gosh-darn worn for wear: This three-layered cake sees Lohan’s rich emo plotzings so pitifully numbered, they all but drown in lo-carb matzo meal.
Start at the top, you’ll get a candied leitmotif spread with harried panting, mere crumbs of good guitar, and moth-eaten teen bromides. But removal of the dancier songs’ twinkling Wonderbra reveals the secrets behind Lindsay’s formerly buoyant bosom: pain, pain, a brazen ’70s and ’80s fixation. Lohan’s banter rises to verbal battery, her gritty voice driving Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me” like a careening hot-pink Ferrari, wringing out bloody vestiges of Daddy issues in its rear window. Can’t deny the cool factor, but oldies cheese proves middling custard compared to her power balladry, which is subzero gorgeous, avoiding fluid loss to boot. “Confessions of a Broken Heart” sets pretty-piano crust and unfolds earnestly to her father, while “A Beautiful Life” triumphs as her caramelized paean to the shadows of dreamland. She so generously dips into morbid irony you’ll be scrawlin’ “Queen of Darkness” on her floaties. Perhaps Moz’ll fancy a swim?