Though I was not trying to create a stir with my last entry, I guess I did. First of all, let me say that I made some factual mistakes. As an immigrant, I am dedicated to two things—justice, honesty, and job usurpation. (I listed a third to create a hole in time. It obviously didn’t work. Whatevs.) I would like to apologize to everyone for getting some things wrong. Some corrections—the dance club in Las Vegas that I was at is not called “Body Bar,” it’s called “Body English.” And though I thought INXS was not there, they were. I fucked up and I’m sorry. (What I maybe didn’t make clear was the INXS after party I was referring to was not the one at Body English, it was the one before it in the Simon Room of the Hard Rock Live. And I may even be wrong about that.)
Either way, for my last entry, I got many comments—some nice, some that corrected me, some mean and weird, and some that made little sense. However, only one was from a lonely place—a place that’s dark—like a cave (where, as we all know, terror lives) posted by an anonymous person—”Kerry Simon threw INXS the party, they were there with the Killers. The bar is called Body English and you’re full of shit.”
My god, that is so much information for two sentences. First of all, let me say that I was lying when I said that the comment was posted from a lonely place. I don’t really know. However much time I’ve watched the various Law and Orders (I’m counting—Law and Order: Order Time, Law and Order: Ouch Patrol, Law and Order: Criminal Children, and of course Law and Order: DRUGS) I still can’t figure out the psychological profile of a person from a sentence. I can figure out these things: The person was either there or knows some of the people involved, seems to care, and thinks I am “full of shit.” Typically, “full of shit” means lying. I’m clearly not lying—though I did get some things wrong. I definitely don’t like dance clubs (this is true I don’t), I was there (I was) and I have two magic powers (one is Heat Face—it works like heat vision—but from the entire face, and laser-hands, which sadly don’t work anymore—damn you Dr. Vaseline!)
All this made me look into the etymology of the phrase “full of shit.” Maybe it had more than one meaning? Maybe not? And this is what I found out . . .
Two hundred years ago, a princess name Rooby-Balls made it up. That’s it. That’s where it comes from. She was French—even though Rooby-Balls is a Dutch name.
So there you have it. Pretty cool? And finally, Body English may be a fine dance club—I couldn’t know—I don’t like thunder-music and I get scarred around fog (I think it’s alive and coming for me.) That’s my issue, not yours. It may even be one of the most fun places in Vegas for some. Many people know the expression, “To each his own.” However, do you know the rest of it? It’s “To each his own, and also, no.” Also, it’s hard to admit this, but I lied about the etymology of “full of shit.” I guess Mr. Anonymous wasn’t wrong—he was just foreshadowing.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on February 9, 2006