Democratic gubernatorial insurgent Tom Suozzi might have 17 cents to every Eliot Spitzer dollar but he was apparently willing to creak open the wallet for a glossy biomailer that arrived in mailboxes this week in beloved Norwood in the Bronx. Titled “The Suozzi Story,” it features a picture of Tom’s parents’ wedding party on the front, and inside we learn that Suozzi’s story “might remind you of a story you’ve heard before … yours.” Yes, it’s a tale of a “hard-working family that comes to New York with empty pockets and hearts full of hope for a better life. Just like yours did.”
Unless yours were wealthy merchants or, say, slaves. Suozzi’s grandfather wasn’t either; he “came from the Old Country” (in this case, Italy) and “faced discrimination,” eventually finding work as a “groundskeeper on the estates of some of New York’s richest families.” The saga continues with Suozzi’s father, who was a war hero, a judge, and a mayor. Then son Tom became a lawyer, CPA, mayor, and county executive. The moral of the story: “So why did New York magazine call Tom Suozzi the Perfect Candidate for Governor?”
Why? Because of Suozzi’s youth, suburban roots, pro-choice Catholicism, “early-Pacino good looks,” and “sparkling political credentials.”
But for the record, New York mag invited its readers to, “Meet Tom Suozzi, the perfect candidate for governor of New York in any other year than this one.”
Suozzi’s obviously ignoring that part of the analysis, as well as the polls that suggest he’s clinging to perhaps a tenth of the electorate. And why not? Grandpa worked 40 years in other people’s gardens. Waiting two or four or eight years for his next shot—if Suozzi fails this time—ain’t no big thang.