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The Reason Our World Is Coming to an End

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I recently got a call from a polling firm asking me how I felt about the crisis in the Middle East (Actually, I feel pretty good. Things are finally going according to my plan—that’s right, fools!—who do you think has been pulling the neo-cons strings? Me. Like a Sith Lord I have also been directing Hezbollah through a series of re-routed late night drunken texts! Fools! Never listen to military commands that are preceded with the phrase ‘What r u up to?”). Anyway, this polling firm wanted me to rate countries, leaders, and organizations (considered by many to be either sneaky or dangerous) on a scale of 1 to 100. I did what I could to help this Shadow Polling company understand what Americans thought could or could not be blown up around the world—and why! Here is the call.

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