Last night a real Inside the Actors Studio was on, none of those “Teri Hatcher, thespian” disappointments. It was the rerun with Robert Downey, Jr., an actor who has enough tales to entertain even when sitting across from Living Dead Lipton. Downey delivered the druggie anecdotes with his trademark self-deprecation, the kind of charm that got studio execs to fund his dainty little blow-and-firearms habit for years.
We spent the entire time hoping he’d cop to doing coke off the Judd Nelson super schnoz, but alas. Here’s what our boy had to offer:
On meeting Mike Figgis:
I was in pretty bad shape and probably weighed about 140 pounds, was carrying a firearm and didn’t have any shoes on…I think I told [Figgis] that I had a cousin in the IRA and he was in town and I didn’t trust him and I have a kid now and if we ever throw down in the street I want my rubber grip 357 with the dum dum bullets.”
On getting arrested:
I don’t know if you know what chilly willies are, but you put them on the outside of a beer can. it was the fact that I had three bags of different multi-colored chilly willies in the car that indicated I’d been on some strange shopping excursion.
On working high:
Lipton: You said Home for the Holidays was for me one of the most relaxing performances in the history of cinema. What was relaxing you?
Downey: Black tar heroin….I’m not saying I wouldn’t have a relaxed performance anyway. But I’m saying if you came into my trailer when I wasn’t working, I might have been constructing a large 1/8-scale model of the spaceship and I had lots of “projects” going on in the room.
Lipton: You were high on the set? How did Jodie handle it?
Downey: She came in and said, “Nice shuttle.”