For many years, Eye mistook Katie Couric for the devil instead of just a trifling Satan’s accomplice. Who knew the real Mcdeal lurked in the shadow of Regis all along, feasting on the flesh of innocent kitties and baby Care Bears?
THE DRAGON LADY
Before: Victoria’s Secret superboob and Fresh Prince gal pal. Now: Robbing the Avon Lady. Her kindest Top Model moment this season was when she voted off Monique for skipping a shoot, even though she was sick in the hospital the night before.
Says Eye’s roommate: “Renee Zellweger and Ellen Barkin had a kid and refused to feed it.”
THE PRICE IS DRACULA
Suck from the neck of the Barker Beauty and you too can have life everlasting.
THE BITCH WHO JUST WON’T DIE
..no matter how many times you shoot her.