Wild Turkeys

Motherfucker's Door Princess is thankful "that Whitney is divorcing Bobby, finally. That is going to be the comeback album of '07."


In this week’s edition of Club Kids Are People Too, we queried the city’s nightcrawlers about Thanksgiving. We wanted to know what they’re thankful for, if they’re doing anything special this year, and what’s the strangest holiday dish they’ve had. (Weirdest meal honors go to
Tha Pumpsta for “Coca-Cola ham and pear salad, which is canned pear halves with Miracle Whip and shredded cheddar cheese.”)

The election results topped the thankful list: Singer and MoveOn maven Laura Dawn is most moved: “I’m thankful for MoveOn volunteers, who did the hard work to elect a new Congress. If you notice a difference in the next couple of years, like us pulling out of Iraq, please thank your local MoveOn volunteers who did the hard work of turning out voters while you sat on your ass.” For Thanksgiving, she says, “I make pretty basic stuff, but Moby has forced me to eat that terrible vegan Tofurky at least twice now, which tastes like baked Styrofoam—although the vegan gravy that accompanies it is quite nice.”

Fellow politically active musician and hottie Theo sends in this missive: “I am very thankful to everyone who voted! Wooo-hoooo! Winning back the House and the Senate is the best thing to happen all year!”

You wouldn’t believe this, but not all club people are cold and jaded. Some of them are kind of sappy, like Tommie Sunshine, who writes, “I am thankful for my girlfriend Daniela’s love, and the fact that I am blessed with endlessly touring the globe playing the music I love, and the chance to constantly abuse pop music in the studio and get paid to do it.”

Ultragrrrl is “thankful for my boyfriend, who puts up with me.” For the big meal, she says her mom “cooks for Thanksgiving like she’s cooking for a Sephardic Shabbat dinner. So you’re likely to find tahini, grape leaves, and Tofurky.” She adds, “I think I’m doing Thanksgiving the night before the actual date, because like good Jews, my parents got a great deal on plane tickets to Miami that are on Thanksgiving.”

Angie Pontani of burlesque troupe the Pontani Sisters
is “most thankful for coming home! The girls and I have been traveling since October 1 promoting our new CD-DVD release Twist Party.” The Italian babe is making a “secret family recipe for a truffle frittata made with truffles that our family in Italy sends us. My Nonna Mary makes this every year—this year I am making it with her so I can hone my technique.”

Thanksgiving is DJ Danny Tenaglia‘s favorite holiday. “I can eat every day like it’s a holiday, but I’m gonna make sure to go easy this season,” he admits. “Wish me luck because I know there’s gonna be tons of pasta and pastries tempting me for the next six weeks!”

Longtime club DJ Larry Tee, who will be spending the holiday with his “adopted friends and family�they appreciate my mediocre cooking better,” names “fried corn on the cob” as his unusual Thanksgiving dish. “I am most thankful that I survived the drug years and get to play for such glamorous crowds again in the newly glamorous NYC music scene!” he says. “New York is back!”

I’m personally most jealous of former APT musical director Alec DeRuggerio, who says, “What I’m most thankful for is getting out of nightlife with a functional liver.”

DJ Cowboy Mark, who spent one lonesome Thanksgiving “washing down an un-turkey club with a bottle of Wild Turkey,” might not be so lucky. “I am thankful that the New York City Nightlife Task Force only shuts down one out of three parties I throw,” he adds.

Susanne Bartsch, who is also perhaps tired of the authorities shutting down her events, says she “will be a homebody.” A far cry from the time she spent Thanksgiving cooking in the Chelsea Hotel for a hundred or so people, including “all the girls with nowhere to go, fashion freaks, a couple of models, outcasts, and old ladies. It was so much fun.”

You have to wonder if Miss Guy of the Toilet Boys has been sipping from Cowboy Mark’s bottle of Wild Turkey. “I’m thankful for the millions and millions of dollars in my bank account!” he says, describing a delusional Turkey Day fantasy that includes hanging out with Guy and Madonna and Bowie and Iman: “Just another low-key casual holiday for New York’s craziest DJ! Not to mention, beautiful! Yeah! Me! I’m pretty! Everyone always says so!”

Another pretty boy, Michael T of Motherfucker fame, writes in: “I’m thankful for the fact that I’m smart and beautiful and gay!”

Motherfucker’s Door Princess Thomas Onorato is thankful “that Whitney is divorcing Bobby, finally. That is going to be the comeback album of ’07.”

More than a few New Yorkers will be overseas on the big day, including performance artist and demented genius Mike Albo, who’s going to be in Rome for the big event. He’s “thankful that
Santorum is out of office! Now he is destined to be known only as that foul sexual term.”

Matt Safer of the Rapture reports, “the Rapture will be playing on the Carson Daly show in L.A. the night before Thanksgiving and missing a home-cooked meal as a result. Boo-hoo.”

Irishman Dominique Keegan of the Glass is flying to Europe Thanksgiving day, and is thus thankful for the “quiet, peaceful airport. I guess airplane food. Stewardesses.”

Like me, Dirty Martini, Murray Hill, and Julie Atlas Muz will be in London for the big day. Miss Martini, who’s celebrating her birthday on the 21st, says they are going to “perform in a benefit with England’s own burlesque royal, Immodesty Blaize, with proceeds going to the Exotic World Burlesque Museum.”

Murray, whose birthday is on Thanksgiving (“This year 50 candles, Romano!”) says that he’s knocking back his “Swanson’s Hungry-Man Turkey TV dinner” for the big day. “I’m thankful that Madonna recently adopted me. I’m hoping when I’m old enough, she’ll ask me to open for her at the Garden.” Since Murray is going to be in London performing, he says, “I’m going to make the girls fish ‘n’ chips for the holiday.”

On the flip side, two Europeans who are stuck on this side of the Atlantic shared their Thanksgiving thoughts. Frenchie DJ Max Pask is thankful for “George Bush providing the best stand-up comedy every time he gets on the mic. He’s even funnier than Jacques Chirac.”

Brit Phil Meynell, the co-promoter of Tiswas, says, “I’m thankful for the big ol’ Christmas dinner you guys give me early! Even though everyone hates me for a day, calling me a bloody Pilgrim and reminding me they are thankful for getting away from the Brits and ‘Why am I eating with them?’ Apart from that, I love all the silly holidays you guys have in the U.S.A. If I had a proper job, I would have a lot of days off!”

Bloody wanker.

Things to do Thanksgiving week, 2006:

Wednesday: Jive Turkey with Stretch Armstrong, DJ Eli, and Jamal Ali spinning jams, hip-hop and dance rock. The Vault @ Element, 225 East Houston Street.
Friday: DJ Spun, Corey Black (Imperial Dub), and Tommy Moye
spin deep house and eclectic tunes. APT, 419 West 13th Street.
Saturday: All-star techno and electro house lineup with Lee Burridge, MANDY,
Adultnapper, and Alexi Delano. Shelter, 150 Varick Street.