It doesn’t come as much of a surprise when the hot babes and ripped studs of
are strapped to a table and gutted like pigs. The trailer dropped more than a hint, and the movie itself begins with a montage of bound wrists, dilated pupils, and the molestation of various quivering innards. Let this serve as a warning to those who suppose the following hour of hot, young white people frolicking on the beaches of Brazil will come at no cost. The tourists of Turistas (Josh Duhamel, Olivia Wilde, and Melissa George, among other disposables) must pay for something, sexuality and stupidity being the typical downfalls of the horror film hottie. As written by Michael Ross and directed by John Stockwell, they might just as well have been neutered philosophers, since the conspiracy to harvest their organs is masterminded by a demented surgeon (Miguel Lunardi) exacting payback on behalf of third-world misery. Given the dullness of the protagonists and the heavy dose of anesthetic administered during the operations, that’s not an entirely unsympathetic cause, and though Turistas eventually bogs down in an underlit mess, it more or less scratches the neo-exploitation itch. Bonus point for best tagline of the year: “Go Home.”