The Old Bachelor is Dead. Long Live New & Improved Bachelor.

From Ironmitch.blogspot.com: The new bachelor

So in the finale episode of The Bachelor: Rome last night, Prince Lorenzo Borghese picked the girl of his dreams (or the next half-hour, anyway), choosing the blond teacher over the blond virgin, blah blah blah. It’s no secret the bachelor sucked this year, so let’s skip right along to next season’s pick of the litter. Perhaps under the gun after choosing some herb who hawks gourmet doggie-lice shampoo, the casting director outdid herself on this one. (Find out more about how the bachelor is chosen here.) E! Online reports today that the next bachelor is U.S. Lieutenant Andy Baldwin, M.D., a 30-year-old medical officer for a Pearl Harbor dive unit. Oh, and a triathlete. Oh, and there’s not room enough for another goddamn title to attach to his name.

To find out more about this superhuman being that fell out of the single-man heavens, we tracked down not Baldwin’s blog but that of his fellow triathlete buddy Mitch. Here, the new bachelor (and yes, ladies, he’s not ugly) details his humanitarian aid missions in Southeast Asia:

“I was asked to serve as group surgeon for a team of fifty military personnel headed for a one-month recovery mission in Laos attempting to find the remains of U.S. POW/MIAs from the Vietnam War . . . . What I would see and experience- disease and poverty coupled with courage and the will to survive- would change my life forever.”

It’s too good to be true. He must slaughter kittens in his sleep or something.