North 5th, Williamsburg
Do people in love really call themselves Tiger Fart and Pony Butter?
At first glance, it wasn’t clear which one of these two statements were back-talk: USE CONDOMS! or I AM DRUNK. So we imagined a Planned Parenthood director walking around Williamsburg after a long day of counseling, seeing the I AM DRUNK statement falling over itself on the wall, sprinting for her pregnancy-prevention kit—which would obviously contain a can of spraypaint, along with a mullet-wig—and then retorting in all-caps, USE CONDOMS!
Alas, it looks like USE CONDOMS! was there first. And some drunken stump saw the safe-sex directive and decided to inform the rest of Billyburg that inebriation is a perfectly good excuse to get The Clap. Talk to us when it starts to burn.