Buy This Purse and You Will Have Sex!


(From here: Behold the purse that will get you laid)

Carrie Valentine’s “Promiscuous” clutch implicitly suggests such wizardry. “Join the Mile High Club With Carrie Valentine Promiscuous Clutch,” declared their email. Dumbfounded, we read more:

If you feel like adding a little more spice to your life, this is the clutch for you! With two unique zipper closures that allow you to stow away many personal items on either side, and the convenient concept of folding the body in half in order to create a skinny and sexy look. You can either hold this seductive purse in your hand, or clutch it directly under your arm without anyone realizing it’s even there! All of a sudden you are feeling a bit promiscuous even before stepping out on the town!

WTF? We only wish purses had such magical powers. We’d love one that managed our finances and flew us to work. But that’s just us.

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on February 8, 2007


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