Literary Triumph

Seven different people pitch a book on Weezer’s Pinkerton to the 33 1/3 series.

Yeah, whatever, as long as you leave room for Hysteria and Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em.

TV Party

The tortured “gotcha” syntax of American Idol elimination meetings.

The ol’ “I’m very sorry to tell you that … you’re going to be seeing a lot more of us!” line only works like the first 50 times.

This Song Will Change Your Life

Covox’s version of “Computer Love” on 8-Bit Operators: A Tribute to the Music of Kraftwerk.

If you find a way to hack into my Nintendo so this is playing along to Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, I will never leave the house.

Album of the Year This Week

Pantha du Prince’s This Bliss.

Breathtakingly frigid minimal techno, like being brutally shot down by the hottest girl in class and loving her anyway.

Offensive Jargon

Referring to romantic comedies as “rom-coms.”

Knock it off.

Internet Distraction

Publicly admitting a fondness for that new OK Go video where everything blends into the wallpaper.

Considerably more damning than confessing to a triple homicide or porn addiction.

Fashion Nugge

The similarity between that wallpaper and the suit Ornette Coleman wore to the Grammys.

Useful if the Red Hot Chili Peppers are stalking you and you wish to escape detection.