“When you’re not walking red carpets, what’s a typical night out for you two?” some nitwit asks of Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts. Pause. “Uh, lots of barbeques, lots of barbeques at home.”
Emily Blunt poured into shiny blue Calvin Klein. Yawn. Anne Hathaway in Valentino. Nice. Patricia Fields loaded up with hideous chunks of Bulgari in a dress that matches her Cherry Jolly Rancher hair. Shudder. Cameron Diaz, also in Valentino, goes for the Apple Jolly Rancher earrings.
Whoa: Andre Leon Talley just asked Cate Blanchett if “belting sweaters around your waist” is something she “brings to her work.” You go girl. J, on the phone: “Genius. You know how the Oscars are always trying new shit out, like presenting awards from the seats or whatever? Now they’re like, ‘get the gay guy, and have him be 300 pounds.’ The addition of Andre Leon Talley is the best thing the Oscars have done in 25 years.”
Helen Mirren, sparkly in Lacroix.