Last night, Barnes & Noble reminded me that Mother’s Day is coming up–and that it exists at all, with a display table labeled “Mother’s Day.” I couldn’t even tell what was on it, because everything was mauve and flowered and ribbony and I went hysterically blind immediately. I’m pretty sure all your mom wants on Mother’s Day (May 13) is a phone call or flowers or to take you out for a pedicure. But if she is ironic and hip, or really really un-ironic, you might want to order Fred Flare’s #1 Mom Statue. At $12, it could be less expensive than flowers, and it’s a lot more awesome. Happy Mother’s Day.