I’ll Have the Bitch Steak, Thanks


Seriously, I’m not even that fat. Is it just the muumuus I’ve been wearing all summer that cause waiters to gaze at me meaningfully when describing tonight’s special — a sauteed skinless chicken breast with vegetables on the side? Or is it the simple fact that I’m a lady, and therefore I must have body dysmorphia and hate myself?

In fact, I don’t hate me and I don’t hate deliciously marbled steaks. I do, however, hate skinless chicken breasts, and I also hate this gimmick, described in an email from Benvenuti Public Relations:

Benjamin [Steakhouse] is the first steakhouse in the city to offer a cut specifically for women. Cleverly named the Adam痴 Rib Eye, the dish is a summer special it has less fat than a usual cut of rib eye and is served boneless. Even the most skeptical of female diners will surely enjoy it, as it is a particularly flavorful cut.”

Of all the foodie causes out there these days, I’m picking this one. I will focus all the power of my celebrity on urging women not to deny themselves just because some drunk guy on the street yells out “Aw, don’t eat all that! What are you, pregnant?” when you walk by with a slice in hand. Hear me roar.