Inspired by the eponymous, semi-skanky dolls that launched a thousand parental protests, this tween comedy does a good job rebranding the Bratz as wholesome do-gooders you’d want to take home to mom—especially if mom likes the ethnics, because Bratz is nothing if not worldly. Blonde, fair-skinned Yasmin is Latina, so of course there’s a mariachi band in her kitchen. At eight in the morning. On a school day. Jade, who is half-Asian, is the math and science whiz of the group. Blonde Cloe is a Suzanne Somers–style klutz, and African-American Sasha is a sassy cheerleader. The Bratz spend most of the movie crusading against the insidious clique overlord, Meredith, at authoritarian Carry Nation High. Meredith, with the help of her father, gutless Principal Dimly (Jon Voight), tries to keep the Bratz in line, but the fearless foursome (spoiler alert!) eventually manage to triumph. In the end, the most offensive part of
Bratz isn’t its stereotypes or brand expansion; it’s the sorry state of Jon Voight’s career. Up next: National Treasure: Book of Secrets.