Heely-Wearers: Repent or Perish!


In our little rant about men’s fashion don’ts the other day, we didn’t even mention the ultimate deal-breaker, the chastity belt of modern footwear: the Heely. Did you know they make them for adults? That doesn’t mean it’s OK, fellers. They made Segways and raver pants, too, but that was no excuse. Clearly it’s not OK to roll around on sneakers that look like Sketchers for the handicapped. It should go without saying, but, we keep seeing you guys. One of our neighbors has a big bumper sticker on her front door that says : JESUS IS COMING! REPENT OR PERISH! When we pass by, we usually shrug and say to ourselves “Eh, I’ll take perish,” but now that phrase comes to mind in earnest. SAVE YOURSELVES!

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on August 23, 2007

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