Music

EXCLUSIVE: SECRET THOM YORKE IN RAINBOWS CHAT INTERCEPTED!!!

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HOLY SOUND OF THE CITY EXCLUSIVE! WE JUST GOT AN E-MAIL FROM THIS DUDE WE KNOW NAMED JOHN BOY OR JON BOIS OR SOMETHING WHO CARES BECAUSE HE WHO HACKED INTO A TOP-SECRET PRIVATE MUSICAL GENIUS CHAT ROOM [password: “ILUVME”] AND GOT A SCREEN CAPTURE OF THOM YORKE TALKING WITH RZA AND PRINCE (AND MORE!) ABOUT IN RAINBOWS! OMMFG! FIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSTTT LOOOK!

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Musical Genius Chat!
robert_digital: So I heard you guys are giving away the new Radiohead album for free.

SergeantYorke: well actually we will make the first disc available to download for whatever price you want. we will also be selling a discbox for about $80 which features a

robert_digital: WHOA FREE ALBUM

SergeantYorke: not a single person has let me finish that sentence so far

SergeantYorke: but still, with this decision we plan to make history and revolutionize music forever

TheHalfBloodPrince: You know, I should remind you that I gave an album away for free a few months ago.

SergeantYorke: was it purple rain or the black album or joshua tree

TheHalfBloodPrince: No. And I didn’t do Joshua Tree.

SergeantYorke: all right then nobody cares about your ninety billion other albums that all sound like the year 1991 farting

TheHalfBloodPrince: aw gee
Sufjan_Succotash: are you sure you want to do this, dude? you could destroy the music industry forever

SergeantYorke: pffft

Sufjan_Succotash: look at it this way

say your album’s worth $20 but you give it away for free. it will knock down consumer expectations across the board


Sufjan_Succotash: most albums printed these days are total crap so they’ll be worth a negative amount of money. anyone who owns a jack johnson album will owe the IRS like 10 bucks

SergeantYorke: well go grab a piccolo and write a song about how it relates to the simple but proud people of, like, wisconsin

**OnlineHost** Radiohead has effectively released its album for free over the Internet.

**OnlineHost** The music industry has been completely destroyed.

SergeantYorke: AAAAAAHH

LAID WASTE BY MY OWN HUBRIS

**OnlineHost** JackoffJohnson has entered the chatroom.

JackoffJohnson: GUYS I’M IN DEEP SHIT, I’M WORTH LIKE NEGATIVE 50 TRILLION DOLLARS

YOU HAVE TO LET ME HIDE OUT IN HERE

TheHalfBloodPrince: How did you like Musicology?

JackoffJohnson: I never heard it.

TheHalfBloodPrince: all right he can stay

ProgressiveBoink.com

jonbois@gmail.com

(Apologies/respect to RR)

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