Larry Craig Goes Bear Hunting in DC


“IT geek and bear-about-town” David Phillips unburdened himself to Wonkette and described a night of truly shitty sex with the foot-tapping Sen. Larry Craig in the spring of 1987. As you might have guessed, Craig is not what you would call a great lay, according to Phillips.

From the Wonkette exclusive:

“…He stripped me down, and the man’s hands and mouth were all over me. He kept his pants on, though, while laying me back on the bed to suck my cock. Then, he stripped naked and asked me to suck him. I complied for a while, then he disappeared and returned with lube and a condom to fuck me me with. It was a clumsy and unremarkable fuck, except that I wasn’t clean and he was frantic about not getting my shit on anything. Still, he blew his load, ripped the dirty condom off and ordered me to get dressed without wiping myself. He hurried me to the back door, again ranting, ‘You were never here. You don’t know me. Right?’”

So why did Phillips share his tale of awful sex? “I’m just glad to purge some mental baggage over it. I wouldn’t ratchet my current feelings about it to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder levels,” he explained to Wonkette’s Princess Sparkle Pony, “But it’s close.”

No doubt. The guy couldn’t even wipe. WTF?