iVoice Special Team correspondent/hacker Jon Bois managed to sneak into the Beacon Theater last Friday early afternoon for Andrew Bird’s soundcheck. What follows is an exclusive real-time IM transcript re-enactment of the events he witnessed.
**OnlineHost** Welcome to Andrew Bird Beacon Theater Soundcheck Chat!
flip_the_bird: i’m here with one-man band insane music prodigy andrew bird
thank you for allowing me to tag along with you for one of your shows!
flip_the_bird: it’s my pleasure, andrew! and it’s true that i’m a one man band. i play all my own instruments. for solo performances, i often play along with recordings of my performances on other instruments in lieu of other band members
flip_the_bird: you are probably the greatest person in the entire world
flip_the_bird: oh stop it you
flip_the_bird: well i’ll get out of your way, let’s see you play some music
flip_the_bird: hell yeah this is how andrew bird jams the jive
/hauls own equipment onstage
/sings, plays guitar
flip_the_bird: /sits in front of drum set, plays drums
flip_the_bird: /moves to stage left, plays standup bass
flip_the_bird: /clears throat
/walks down to seats, sits down, stands up
flip_the_bird: /walks back up to stage
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
flip_the_bird: so hey everybody, make sure to check out the merch table back there!
flip_the_bird: /walks over to merch table, buys own album
/takes out $10 bill from right pocket, transfers to left pocket
VenueManager: Hey, what’s going on in here? You’re not supposed to be playing for another eight hours. I’m going to need to ask you to leave.
flip_the_bird: WHAT THE
/clocks VenueManager in the face
flip_the_bird: there are only three things in this world
the dirt, the sky, and ANDREW FR*CKIN BIRD
P.S. We’ve heard that some of you don’t quite understand Bois’s special talents. Just to confirm that his IM-hacking credentials are solid, you should also know that Bois and his co-conspirators regularly spy on Major League Baseball players.