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iVoice: American Idol, the IM Chat

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**Online Host**

Welcome to the American Idol Season Chatroom!

SeacrestDSV: Welcome to season 7 of YOUR… ah-MER-ican Idol! Up next singing Stevie Wonder is [Douchebag Contestant]!

DouchebagContestant: um i chose stevie wonder because um i always grew up listening to him and my mom used to play his records

this was in 1998

DouchebagContestant: tonight for my audition i will delve deep into his discography and sing “higher ground”

**Online Host**

Week 2

SeacrestDSV: Welcome to Sixties Week on American Idol! Up next, this guy!

DouchebagContestant: the sixties were an exciting and important time so i’ve chosen “fingertips part 2” by little stevie wonder

DouchebagContestant: /butchers Little Stevie Wonder

abdul_the_butcher: /bursts into tears

**Online Host**

Week 3

DouchebagContestant: for Hits of the Seventies Week i’ve chosen “you are the sunshine of my life” by stevie wonder, because i think he is a great musician

JustAight4Me: I DON’T KNOW DOG STEVIE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST MUSICIANS EVAAAH DOG

DouchebagContestant: /destroys Stevie Wonder

JustAight4Me: THAT WAS THE BOMMMM DUDE!!

**Online Host**

Week 5

SeacrestDSV: Paula! What did you think of (this guy)’s performance tonight on Eighties Week?

abdul_the_butcher: you know, Stevie Wonder is one of the best singers of all times and I don’t think I’ve ever heard Ebony and Ivory sound like that!

JustAight4Me: IT WAS A LITTLE PITCHY LITTLE PITCHY IN PARTS BUT YOU MADE IT YOUR OWN

DouchebagContestant: /does the cabbage-patch, or something equally asinine

SeacrestDSV: Simon!

CowellHeartedSnake: I thought

Audience: BOOOOOOO

**Online Host**

Week 8

DouchebagContestant: /just obliterates the shit out of Stevie Wonder

SeacrestDSV: so tell us about your father

DouchebagContestant: he is dead

Audience: /break own fingers voting for DouchebagContestant

**Online Host**

Week 35

DouchebagContestant: for “anything except stevie wonder week” i chose to sing “higher ground” by the red hot chili peppers, but i’m gonna give it a raw, bluesier funk sound

**Online Host**

Season Finale

LargeWonder: where am I
DouchebagContestant: /lays on piano, plays harmonica
LargeWonder: someone help me
DouchebagContestant: /claps hands emphatically with black choir
SeacrestDSV: Goodnight, everybody!
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