I mean, come on already, is she??? You know, Lebanese! She certainly dresses like a, you know, tomboy. And if you google “Ellen Page boyfriend,” not a whole lot comes up, except for a link to some interview where she refers to an old beau. And if you google “Ellen Page dating,” you get the news that she dated Ben Foster, but then you get a followup saying she denies that ever happened. Who did she go to the Oscars with? I couldn’t tell from the cropped shots of her, but it looked like she was maybe with her mother? For guys, that used to signify 100% gay, but for girls, it might just mean young and/or Canadian–or, um, gay. And then there was the web item saying “Ellen Page is an out lesbian,” but for all I know the guy who ran that is the same douche who started the whole “Marcia Cross is coming out” campaign. Come on, people, help me out of this mess! Before I get stampeded by publicists shrieking, “This is an invasion of privacy!” (yeah, yeah, shut up, this is what I do), let’s put the dykey pieces together. Is Juno a you know? And if so, which male will they quickly match her up with? Zac Efron?