Everett True is a Hero to nerdy, middle-class, english teenage boys.
Admirers of Everett True? Nope, young lads from the Wave Pictures
THIS WEEK: Everett reviews the singles
I lectured at BIMM (Brighton Institute of Modern Music) last Friday. After the usual questions as to how much of Hole’s third album did Billy Corgan write, and how did I get started in the music ‘business’ (I liked to dance at shows: that was it), a fellow came up to me at the end—vaguely emo-looking, you know he suffers for his art—and said, “So I’m guessing your magazine isn’t full of writers that just copy press releases word for word. That makes a change. Congratulations.” It was a surly back-hander of a compliment, but I knew he meant well…and so by way of appreciation for his appreciation, I decided I’d write some Record Reviews.
TV Personalities, “The Good Anarchist” (Elefant)
I’m nonplussed. The song is a lingering, played straight, bedtime tale about…it’s difficult to tell. The female singer seems to be staring straight at her feet while she’s gently intoning in a wide-eyed, slightly out-of-tune, Naomi-from-Damon-and-Naomi intonation. The guitars are drenched in echo. Everything is disarmingly simple. And none of this is bad or odd, just marginally worrying…because in all the years I’ve been perplexed and overwhelmed and annoyed by Dan Treacy’s maverick and often bitterly honest TV Personalities, I’ve never known them to release a song—much less a single—which doesn’t feature his voice. Maybe he’s trying to promote himself as a songwriter at this late stage. It could work. I’ve just sold two Lee Hazelwood CDs for a combined total of £60 online. (But he’s dead.)
The Wave Pictures, “Just Like A Drummer” (Moshi Moshi)
This may well not be a single. I have no way of knowing, having burnt all my press releases summarily after that last lecture. I know it’s a cracking good song, and that it’s taken from The Wave Pictures’ forthcoming album Instant Coffee Baby, and that it chugs and burrs like Herman Düne, and that there’s a part where the instrumentation drops out and the entire ensemble makes like Jonathan Richman on “Morning Of Our Lives” and…wait, my wife has just asked me to turn the music down. What? This music is naturally quiet: never mind the fact it’s 10pm, we’re wasted with tiredness cos of our toddler son waking us up two nights in a row, and that her friend with a newborn has just called. This is the perfect sound for discussing life’s tiny miracles to. “The sun came in like a pack of orange spaniels through the window…” they lilt. This may not be a single yet. But, at the rate The Wave Pictures are releasing records, can it be far off? Their album is released on my birthday, April 21. (Oh damn. There’s another misleading fact to go up on Wikipedia from one of my mystery admirers.)
Metronomy, “My Heart Rate Rapid (Radio edit)” (Because)
Here’s a confession. I saw the chap behind Metronomy play – with just his laptop for company, and a handful of us clutching coffees and glad we weren’t suffering the rain outside – at one of (Pipettes founder) Monster Bobby’s Totally Bored nights in Brighton’s North Laines a few years back. The music that night was quirkily intelligent, lovable and faintly boring, the way a lot of laptop electronica can be. (I know it sounds like I’m damning with faint praise, but I don’t mean to be. I like Metronomy. I’m just pointing out the ridiculousness of the situation: the idea this smart, danceable music was being created with zero pizzazz in front of a crowd of coffee table-clutching indie-heads.) Since that night I have shamelessly used Metronomy as a comparison point for any other vaguely quirkily intelligent, lovable and faintly boring electronic music I’ve chanced across. It’s my talisman against being caught lacking in knowledge. As to what this particular single sounds like, I could not tell you—beyond being vaguely synthetic, repetitive, chirpy and remotely like a Kraftwerk album playing at somewhere between 45 and 78rpm—as my wife is still on the phone, and what are record reviews next to newborn life?
Chicks On Speed, “Art Rules!” (Chicks On Speed)
Someone once sold this band to me as The Raincoats, only—y’know—updated. And I loved them unreservedly for as long as I was DJing irregularly at that club above The Free Butt where we’d play Gary Glitter-sampling electrocl$sh in between Delta 5 B-sides. But Chicks On Speed have long since proven themselves not to be spiritual heirs to The Raincoats…updated, undone or in any way understood. They’re so not. The Raincoats split, long before they ran out of ideas – or, indeed, chose to lamely critique their money-loving peers (and, by proxy, their own selves) to the strains of Pet Shop Boys covering ‘Go West’. It is so fucking passé to act so fucking passé.
Hey, fuck you! Think you can tell me how to write. Don’t you know that those nerdy middle-class geeks over at the I Love Music/I Love Everything message boards recently voted me Number 17 in ‘100 People Who Are Heroes To Nerdy, Middle-Class, English Teenage Boys.’ I didn’t get there without showing some attitu…oh wait. I get it. It’s an insult.
Hugs And Kisses Top 5
Some other songs Everett True likes
1. Katastrophy Wife, “Heart-On” (Rish single). The song on Kat Bjelland’s new single that isn’t the screamingly awesome Iron Maiden cover still kicks any spotty metal white boy ass you care to name.
2. Stereototal, “Plástico” (forthcoming Elefant single). This band make me feel so ridiculously, riotously happy. It’s like Bis crossed with Francoise Hardy crossed with…ah fuck. You know this band you know how stupid asinine comparisons are. You don’t? Then do so. NOW!
3. Clinic, “Do It!” (forthcoming Domino album)
I have no real idea if this album’s any good. I’d imagine it is, but I’m just admitting I ain’t listened to it yet, understand? I like the fact its title reminds me of my favourite scene from the Owen Wilson/Ben Stiller remake of Starsky And Hutch.
4. Diamanda Galas, “Interlude (Time)” (from the forthcoming Mute album Guilty Guilty Guilty). Diamanda Galas covers Timi Yuro. What? You need more explanation than that?
5. Sharon Jones And The Dap-Kings, “100 Days, 100 Nights” (from the Daptone album 100 Days, 100 Nights). She’s coming over to play soon. I’m excited.