New York

Anne Boleyn Gives Good Head—and Nice Screening

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Let’s play the name game, kids. Tina Brown went from lionizing Jerry Seinfeld (as editor of Vanity Fair) to dissecting Lady Di (as author of that best-selling book) to hosting last night’s special screening of The Other Boleyn Girl, written by Peter Morgan, who went from documenting Idi Amin to tenderizing Queen Elizabeth to excavating Richard Nixon to, finally, romanticizing the glamorous Anne Boleyn herself. The two of them should get together and do a Jeopardy category. But I guess not every name comes readily to mind for Tina. She cutely couldn’t remember the name of the film’s director in her speech before the screening (it’s Justin Chadwick), which she delivered in a very smart black leathery top that made her look mildly dominatrix-like. But Tina did say she’s obsessed with Boleyn, “and if I have enough drinks at the dinner later, I’ll recite the poem she wrote just before she was beheaded.” Well, someone ELSE was going to have to have their noggin cut off because I wasn’t INVITED to the dinner! Anyway, another adorable moment happened when Tina thanked Sony for having the screening, at which point a publicist jumped in to clarify that the evening was actually underwritten by the Diamond board! No wonder I wasn’t invited. They must have found out I use a Bedazzler.

The movie? Lots of histrionics, great costumes and fab diamonds!

Meanwhile, another film about a misbegotten head, Penelope, tells you that you have to learn to love yourself and develop deeper values before your pig snout can fall off so you can be more superficially beautiful! Duh.