A Place to Bury Strangers plays the Music Hall of Williamsburg this Saturday, March 22 with Holy Fuck. Ticket info here.
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Apartment Building Chat!
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larry: Come on, I’m going to show you around the city!
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balki: but cousin i am not from this country! my naivete and poor mastery of english will result in hilralrious misunderstandings!
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oliver_ackermann: /gets off elevator
Oh, hey! I don’t think I’ve met you guys yet. I’m Oliver, I just moved in. I’m in this band called–
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larry: AAAAAAHH
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balki: aaaaaaa
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**OnlineHost** larry and balki have left the chatroom.
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oliver_ackermann: sigh
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Bedford Ave Bodega Chat!
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cashier: … where are your brothers and sisters?
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kevin_mccallister: I’m an only child.
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cashier: Well where do you live?
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kevin_mccallister: I can’t tell you that.
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cashier: Why not?
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kevin_mccallister:
cush you’re a shtranger
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oliver_ackermann: /walks up to counter
A box of Camel Lights, please.
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cashier: AAAAAAAHHH
/runs away
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oliver_ackermann: sigh
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Spoonbill & Sugartown Booksellers Chat!
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oliver_ackermann: /finds “absurdist fiction” shelf
Oh, neat! I haven’t read this one yet!
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oliver_ackermann: /picks up book
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albert_camus_novel: AAAAAAHH
/grows legs, runs away
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oliver_ackermann: sighhhhhhhhh
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oliver_ackermann: /checks watch
welp
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Music Hall of Williamsburg Chat!
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oliver_ackermann: /takes stage
WHAT’S UP BROOKLYN
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fog_machine: /whoooooooooosh
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crowd: WOOOOOO
IT’S THE LOUDEST FUCKIN BAND IN NEW YORK
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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oliver_ackermann: Thank you! Thank you so much! This means a lot. . . it’s been a hard day.
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crowd: IT’S OKAY, APTBS!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!
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oliver_ackermann: and … and you don’t mind if I find a place to bury you?
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crowd: … WHAT
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oliver_ackermann: /produces shovel, truncheon
well, i mean, that’s sort of our thing
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crowd: HOLY FUCK
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oliver_ackermann: Yeah, we were really honored to have them tour with us.
So who’s first? Clear a pit, everybody!
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crowd: /weeps
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oliver_ackermann: god damn
the noise-rock scene is fuckin dead.
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oliver_ackermann: this really isn’t what I meant by “death by audio.”
guess i won’t need this
/drops truncheon
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-
ProgressiveBoink.com
jonbois@gmail.com
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