The thing I detest the most in life—even more than prequels—is when “friends” cancel on getting together, even though it was THEIR idea in the first place. I think being set up to basically do them a favor, only to get dissed is the rottenest one-two punch in the seamy world of human relations. Can I give you a rundown of my victimization by such flakes in the last two weeks alone? If so, will you please not cancel on reading it?
First, a photographer friend from Baltimore begged me to take him to clubs so he could snap shots of fab people for a book. He planned this weeks in advance and I was nice enough to go along with it, but then an hour before our meeting, he texted with “Can’t go out tonight.” No explanation, no apology. And I never heard from him again.
A friend set up a night out with me, then a few hours later, texted, “Sorry. My ‘straight husband’ had a fight with his girlfriend’.” Huh? And did your gay dog pee on your homework too?
Another pal texted all day about going to a club and convinced me to come along, then at the last minute said he couldn’t get out of work in time to do so. The reality is he went to ANOTHER club with ANOTHER friend, but since he couldn’t get in, he ended up right smack at the club we were supposed to go to together.
A fan wrote that I’m so fabulous and he was dying to get together and do anything just to share in my greatness. I rarely go along with this kind of thing because it usually spells trouble, but this time I relented, whorishly needing the chance for an ego boost. Sure enough, no matter what I proposed to do, the guy either couldn’t make it or didn’t show!
A coke addict who’d fucked me over before suggested we have lunch soon and make up in a civilized setting. A total sucker, I said “Sure.” He never called.
And I won’t even tell you about the equally narcotized guy from the Cock and so many other unreliable freaks who’ve toyed with my good nature. None of them are really as busy as they say–and not one of them could ever be as busy as I am–they just don’t seem able to budget their time or follow through on the well-meaning crap they spew. So please tell me, people: What do you do about this kind of shit? Never make plans with anyone? Find a different type of friend? Pay for friendship? Or just cancel a lot yourself?