The news that Priscilla Presley‘s face has turned into a golf course because she went to an unlicensed doctor for some bad Botox is very sad, reminding us of the tragic plight of aging performers who try to defy time by having their features slashed and injected on a regular basis. I hereby give you the ickiest participants in this self victimization in the name of beauty:
*Michael Jackson. A cute black boy is now a grisly white woman. His nose is now as detachable as his penis. The kid is not his son–and that gash can’t be his mouth!
*Melanie Griffith: Her lips enter a room 10 minutes before she does. The Working Girl needs less work, girl.
*Meg Ryan. America’s sweetheart is now the Joker from Batman. Maybe Russell Crowe threw a phone at her?
*Madonna. The puppety chin is surrounded by weird flesh curtains and it would take more than four minutes to save it.
And, most appallingly of all…
*Laura Bush. Her face is tighter than her pussy, but at least her surprised eyes–which have probably been that way since that hushed-up car accident–allow her to look concerned when she hears stuff like “Another 50 people are dead in Iraq.”