I have developed a theory about the Friday editions of the Post and Daily News, which is that barring any sort of massive breaking news, the papers stick to “water-cooler” stories on the front page to foster some sort of camaraderie in the work place. It’s Friday, you just want to chat it up with your co-workers about the pregnant dude or the latest outrageous celebrity exploit instead of going over that presentation for the third time before the meeting on Monday. Today’s Post does not disappoint in that regard, and even the Daily News has a water-cooler worthy page one with its story on the Seattle Police Department’s recruiting attempts here in the Big Apple. (Can’t you picture the conversation with Bob from accounting? “Wow, man, Seattle’s PD pays twice what we pay for police recruits!” Bob responds, “Yeah, but the suicide rate there is twice as high as well. Plus, you’re living in Seattle.”)
But the Post wins today’s battle in the water-cooler wars. We get more information on Thomas Beatie, a transgendered man, who is pregnant. Beatie had surgery on his breasts, but kept his reproductive organs. The Post‘s story is mainly a rehash of yesterday’s Oprah appearance and the interview the Beaties gave to People magazine, but it’s fascinating all the same. The “chubby hubby” photo caption, however, might fall on the “lame” side of things.
The other “did you hear?” story in today’s Post is about Naomi Campbell’s meltdown at Heathrow Airport when she learned that one of her bags was lost. Campbell flying into a rage about something is not really a new story, but the Post went all out on this one, placing her on the front page and having Andrea Peyser “tsk tsk” her for her bad behavior. Shouldn’t Peyser be writing about the sentencing of Cesar Rodriguez in the Nixzmary Brown case instead? Daily News columnist Jane Ridley does write about Rodriguez’s sentencing, where the “devil,” as Ridley describes him, received the maximum sentence of up to 29 years in prison for first-degree manslaughter and unlawful imprisonment. Ridley observes that this is not enough, but hopefully “the publicity and increased vigilance generated by this case may save other abused children before it’s too late.” Again, this is a story that will get people talking.
Another subject that people never shut up about is…weddings! We love us some celebrity weddings, and today’s tabloids do not disappoint with rumors of upcoming nuptials. The Daily News highlights the rumored wedding of Beyonce and Jay-Z, which some say will take place today. This marriage is one that seems to maybe happen every few months or so, but the speculation increased earlier this week when People.com reported the pair took out a marriage license in Scarsdale.
The Post, meanwhile, has way more fun with the upcoming wedding of incarcerated rapper Remy Ma to rapper Papoose. The headline reads “Wife sentence” and the classic Post photoshopping consists of Ma in a striped wedding dress with her prisoner number on the front. The “invitation” reminds guest to bring “metal-detector-friendly” gifts.
Here are some other things to ponder with your co-workers while goofing off on Friday:
Don’t set foot in Fenway Park if your name is A-Rod regardless of gender. A 13-year-old Bristol, Conn., girl named Alexa Rodriguez got attacked by a hawk while on a school trip to the home of the Red Sox.
If you had bought the domain pizza.com back in 1994, you’d be $2.6 million richer, like Chris Clark, who auctioned the domain off yesterday, the Post reports.
Attempting to steal the bunting from Yankee Stadium is a really bad idea, especially if it means you’ll lose your job as an electrician in Westchester. The Post reports that John Bunjaporte and Keith O’Rourke’s shenanigans on Opening Day have caused them embarrassment after they made headlines.
And, finally, don’t use your sirens and lights to speed up to Albany to argue for congestion pricing. The Daily News exclusively reports that city transportation boss Janette Sadik-Kaan got busted for speeding on Wednesday when she was on her way upstate to lobby for congestion pricing to pass. Oh, the irony!