Two lesbian britches

What do you get when you bring together one of the Five Lesbian Brothers with one of the Split Britches? (Props to anyone who can come up with an awesome punch line to that riddle . . .) You get the theatrical equivalent of Ellen and Portia. Lisa Kron and Deb Margolin, both Obie winners for work in their respective companies, have teamed up for the first time in Time Is the Mercy of Eternity. Margolin’s play is composed of four shorts about love, violence, and obsession, including a bus driver’s frustration with suicide bombers; a couple’s loss of their son, a soldier in Iraq; and the murder of a young actress. In the title piece, Kron stars as a woman who won’t leave the home-furnishings section of a department store that she insists she owns. At 7:30, through May 10, West End Theatre, 263 West 86th Street, 212-868-4444, $18 SHARYN JACKSON



It’s metal, metal, and more metal

Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine says he founded Gigantour—his three-year-old Ozzfest competitor—to remedy what he perceives as the lack of a focus on musicianship on the touring-festival circuit. Makes the thing sound like a snooze, I know—but this year’s lineup is anything but sleepy. As always, Megadeth headline; they’re supporting last year’s surprisingly solid United Abominations, which boasts riffs much more complicated than Mustaine’s politics. Sweden’s In Flames have a new one out called A Sense of Purpose that wouldn’t turn off an AFI fan. Children of Bodom, from Finland, might possess a flair for the dramatic that’s even deeper than that of H.I.M., their higher-profile countrymen. Also with Job for a Cowboy (Gigantour’s youngest act) and High on Fire. At 5, also Wednesday, Hammerstein Ballroom, 311 West 34th Street, $42 MIKAEL WOOD