Music

iVoice: Colin Meloy Meets the Shankill Butchers

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Colin Meloy plays the Music Hall of Williamsburg tonight, April 16, with Laura Gibson.

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Music Hall of Williamsburg Chat!

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: hellayyyyw

i am colinnnn meloyyyy

 

  crowd: What’s with your accent?

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: oh it’s just from where i gyew up

 

  crowd: Which is where?

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: an island colony populated by bawoque-pop bwitish longshoeyremen that exists only in my mind

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: ok arye you guys wready to wock

 

  crowd: WOO!

 

**OnlineHost** Colin Meloy sings a song about an aborted fetus who gets stuck in a chimney and then sees a deadbeat steal his mother’s estate, then sails out to sea to avenge her, then finds out his mother has turned into a bird, and then he nurses it back to health and is magically reincarnated as the son of a trapeze artist who joins the Confederacy and dies and becomes a ghost.

 

**OnlineHost** Then the ghost does a bunch of 1800s shit.

 

  crowd: So will the townsfolk ever find young Frederick’s remains?

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: no he is not yreally dead, his spiwit is tuapped in his mothews locket

 

  crowd: oh

 

WOOO

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: thank youuu thank youuuuu

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: /kind of tunes guitar but not really

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: this song is about me becoming a fatheeeyr

 

and having a chiyoowld

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: i thought i would not wuite a song about it, but then i decided to wuite a song about it, and then i thought, “why am i wuiting a song about itttttt”

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: because you know it’s a cliche and i thought i would nevew wuite a song about it and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: soyyey i should stick to my mantwa “less talk moyre wock”

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: but anyway blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

 

**OnlineHost** Hours later…

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: ah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

 

  crowd: /falls asleep

 

**OnlineHost** The Shankill Butchers have entered the chatroom.

 

  shankill_butchers: RUB ‘EM OUT BOYOS

wait are they asleep

we wanted to catch them awake

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: i’m awake!

 

  shankill_butchers: /wipe off cleavers with thighs

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: oh cwuap

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: hold on i need to come up with a wry and aloof song about me being bwutally muydered

 

  ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: it’s hawdew to be wry and aloof when i’m the one being bwutally muydered

 

ProgressiveBoink.com

 

 

 

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