Music

iVoice: Mariah Carey Gets Married!

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  JetersNeverProsper: Wow, you’re married again? That’s surprising, congratulations!
  CashAndCarey: aw, thanks jeet! yeah we didn’t date for very long but we were just so in love
  JetersNeverProsper: which romanticized beasts from a first grader’s Lisa Frank folder would you use to describe your relationship?
  CashAndCarey: unicorn, butterfly, regular horse

additionally, “rainbows”

  JetersNeverProsper: rainbows too, huh? This must be the real deal.
  CashAndCarey: you just don’t know, jeet, everything about him just completes me. we’re into the same things, we both love children, we’re into the same kind of music…
  CashAndCarey: he makes music, too, and although the style is a lil’ different our songs basically say the same thing
  CashAndCarey: come to think of it, we even kind of look like each other, too
  JetersNeverProsper: Look like each other? That’s kinda weird.

I’m sorry you and I never “made it.”

  CashAndCarey: me too, baby, but what could you expect?
  CashAndCarey: I was always busy with touring and recording, always off to video shoots and parties, and you were busy having tons of homosexual sex with your baseball team
  JetersNeverProsper: lol, well, we are the Yankees
  CashAndCarey: sometimes we were fluffy clouds and occasionally we were flowers, but we were never rainbow and unicorn
  JetersNeverProsper: you’re right

Well, I wish you and Nick all the best.

  CashAndCarey: Nick? Who is Nick?
  JetersNeverProsper: Eh? I thought you married…
  CashAndCarey: !!! ooh, here he is now!
  HipHopHarry: HI KIDS!!! /does the running man
  CashAndCarey: oh baby, whassup boo how you fillin
  JetersNeverProsper: yeah you do kinda look alike
  CashAndCarey: jeet dis my boy hip hop harry, he make me his wife

ay hurry this my boy jeet

  JetersNeverProsper: uh, hi Harry. What is it you do for a living?
  HipHopHarry: I LOVE TO LEARN

I LOVE TO LEARN

I LOVE TO LEARN

I LOVE TO LEARN

  CashAndCarey: hurry is a bear wif a lil’ boy intelligence who teaches numbas an careers to shorties usin’ hip hop
  HipHopHarry: HIP HOP IS A LIFESTYLE AND I HAVE BROKEN BOUNDARIES IN CRYPTOZOOLOGY TO PROVE THAT, YOU FEEL ME
 

JetersNeverProsper: sure, sure, I feel you, that’s very-
  HipHopHarry: EXCUSE ME
  HipHopHarry: WHERE DO LIONS LIVE
  JetersNeverProsper: where do… where do lions live? what
  CashAndCarey: jus ansa’ the question
  HipHopHarry: WHERE DO LIONS LIVE
JetersNeverProsper: well I mean I don’t know specifically, but you could probably find a book on the subject pretty easily

there should be all kinds of books on lions

  HipHopHarry: WHOAAAA

TELL ME WHERE WE’RE GOING

CashAndCarey: … TO THE LIBERRY!
**Online Host**
HipHopHarry and CashAndCarey have left the chatroom amidst scrolling graphics of snakes shaped like numbers
JetersNeverProsper: welp.
**Online Host**
Welcome to the Public Library Chatroom!
HipHopHarry: /opens a book

MANY FUN THINGS ARE HIDDEN INSIDE

CashAndCarey: harry you given any more thought to changin’ ya name since we marry now
HipHopHarry: I CAN’T CALL MYSELF HARRY CAREY THAT WOULD BE WEIRD
CashAndCarey: whats yo lass name fool
HipHopHarry: I AM A BEAR, I DON’T HAVE A LAST NAME. YOU’RE LUCKY I CAN TALK.

I GUESS MY LAST NAME WOULD BE “BEAR” OR “THE BEAR.”

CashAndCarey: well i ain’ callin myself “hip hop carey”
ProgressiveBoink.com

 

 

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