Music

iVoice: A Night Out With Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson

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RonsonPinchot: aw man, i’ve got this cigarette in my hand but i don’t know what to do with it

LiloAndStench: snort it

RonsonPinchot: i tried, but it don’t bend in the middle so it was just stickin half way out my nose

LiloAndStench: then just smoke it, baby

RonsonPinchot: but that seems too committal, like i’m bein passionate about the things i like

LiloAndStench: what if you wet the end and stick it to the bottom of your lip so it dangles there unlit all night

LiloAndStench: that way you look like a cool smoker AND you look so fucked up that you can’t even smoke properly

RonsonPinchot: baby you are my multiverse /makes out

LiloAndStench: /makes out in most disconnected way imaginable

**Online Host**

RonsonPinchot and LiloAndStench have been photographed 450,000 times.

RonsonPinchot: baby, do you think we should come out about our relationship

LiloAndStench: which relationship

RonsonPinchot: i dunno

RonsonPinchot: wait

LiloAndStench: what’s there to explain? i never had a proper childhood thanks to my stage mom and broken home, and you have drank 65 PBRs in the last 30 minutes

LiloAndStench: we’re just havin’ fun, doin’ what we wanna do

woooo

RonsonPinchot: wooooo

/pretends to “D.J.”

LiloAndStench: if we die tonight least we did what we wan’ned to do! now how bout you!

RonsonPinchot: wooo, all right freedome from consequence

LiloAndStench: three cheers for satanism!!

RonsonPinchot: /”does” “drugs”

LiloAndStench: /ages six or seven more years

**Online Host**

HereComesTheMark has entered the chatroom.

HereComesTheMark: hey ladies, i just wanted to pop in to show you my awesome new hat, it’s-

HereComesTheMark: aw, are you wearing the same hat

RonsonPinchot: i’m not wearing a hat

HereComesTheMark: hey, i like what your mouth is doing with that cigarette, that looks pretty cool

LiloAndStench: ew gah roas is that a boy, ugh, boys are gah roas

LiloAndStench: hey baby what’re you up to after the show

HereComesTheMark: i’m buying a bunch of saran wrap and making amy winehouse sing doo-wop music into a megaphone

HereComesTheMark: and uh, those things have nothing to do with each other

RonsonPinchot: hey watch this

/puts fingertrips on vinyl record

HereComesTheMark: whoaaaa, when did you learn to DJ

RonsonPinchot: bitch i am so fucken good at dj

/puts hands on outside of headphones

HereComesTheMark: welp, looks like you two have things under control here, i’ve got to take off

have a nice night

LiloAndStench: don’t tell me what to do!

ProgressiveBoink.com

infernaldinosaur@gmail.com

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