Variety recently reported that a remake of My Fair Lady will very likely be made with Keira Knightley as the screeching Cockney flowergirl turned bitter yet finely accessorized lady. Will the result be loverly? I wouldn’t count on it! How many times do producers have to be reminded that it’s not GOOD movies that need to be remade—they already were quite marvelous, thank you—but rotten ones! The practice of revisiting already flawless works never seems to pay off. Remember the godawful retreads of films like Breathless, Diabolique, and especially Psycho, which made me want to shower immediately? Did you go ape for the TWO King Kong remakes foisted on an unsuspecting mankind? And did you gag when Queen Latifah starred in an update of an Alec Guinness classic? (I’m not making this shit up, people. Google it!)
Hey, Hollywood, promise me you won’t next redo Citizen Kane with Jimmy Kimmel or Gone With The Wind starring Mario Lopez and Denise Richards. How about Howard the Duck with anybody! It can only get better!