The Worst Gay Dis of All


The most horrible thing anyone can say to you after a sexual hookup is the immortal “I’m sure we’ll run into each other somewhere”—said as they race to the door after scrubbing down like Karen Silkwood. This may sound positively polite and lovely, as if they’re actually looking forward to running into you, but in gay parlance, what it really means is: “Don’t you dare call me—or even ask for my number. This was merely a time-passer for me and it will never amount to anything of any substance. The chance of there being a sequel to this night is the same as there being one for The Happening. If I run into you, fine—I’ll say hi and keep walking—but I pray that never happens and I can just forget this momentary lapse of sanity. Ciao. I’m going back to my boyfriend.”

It’s such a hideously insulting line that it might serve everyone’s interest if we abolished it forever—except I’ve actually used it on occasion and it’s pretty useful!