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CorporalMartin: Hey Thom! Long time, no talk! |
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Away message from SargeantYorke:
busy not being coldplay
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CorporalMartin: đ |
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CorporalMartin: I know youâre just jokinâ! Let me know when you get back in! |
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CorporalMartin: Thom? You there? |
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SargeantYorke: hris martin looks like an emaciated donkey |
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SargeantYorke: oh, sorry, wrong window. |
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CorporalMartin: Oh. |
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CorporalMartin: Well, I was just gonna ask, did you happen to see that we came out with another album? |
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SargeantYorke: oh did you really |
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CorporalMartin: Yeah! And yâknow, weâre pretty big fans of you guys |
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SargeantYorke: yeah, i heard.
isnât it great how I wrote Ok Computer and I still have both my balls?
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CorporalMartin: oh shit you read that |
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SargeantYorke:
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CorporalMartin: ah, well . . .
so of course, we were curious to see what you thought of our new record!
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SargeantYorke: listen man, i donât have time to go to pandora.com, type in âjack johnson bono masturbateâ and listen through the radio station for two hours |
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CorporalMartin: Oh, you donât have to do that. Itâs in stores! |
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SargeantYorke: what the fuck is a store |
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SargeantYorke: anyway i think i get the idea of âcoldplayâ |
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SargeantYorke: you sit at a piano and sing falsetto about being sorry
then you explain that itâs unique because you recorded in a warehouse or a church or a port-a-john or whatever the god fuck
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SargeantYorke: oh man, i hope your album has art on it! i hope that art is supposed to symbolize something! |
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CorporalMartin: Actually, it does! Itâs a |
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SargeantYorke: nobody cares |
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CorporalMartin: Well okey doke then. Sorry to bug you. I just think itâd be really great if you gave it a listen! Honest critique is welcome! |
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Away message from SargeantYorke:
performing a webcast in a soiled undershirt, be back later
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CorporalMartin: aw jeez |
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**OnlineHost** Later that evening⌠|
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SargeantYorke: oh man, so you wouldnât believe who messaged me today
fuckin chris martin from coldplay
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SargeantYorke: guy is such a douchebag, coldplay sucks so bad |
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TOM_WAITS: why do you say that |
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SargeantYorke: well i mean, heh, itâs coldplay, come on |
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TOM_WAITS: son i heard the new coldplay album, itâs nothin spectacular but itâs really not bad |
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TOM_WAITS: did you even listen to it or did you just decide to get all snarky about it pre-emptively |
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SargeantYorke: well
well i mean no, but
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TOM_WAITS: think on this, lazy-eye
some folks like you and me can get away with shit. i can sell millions of albums of me whacking a plumbing fixture with a lead pipe and screaming about setting my wife on fire
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TOM_WAITS: and you can get away with goddamn âpush/pull revolving doorsâ |
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TOM_WAITS: and if we werenât so lucky we might just have to spit our dicks out our mouths and write regular people music |
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SargeantYorke: well yeah maybe |
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TOM_WAITS: how about you actually listen to it, i kind of like some songs on there |
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TOM_WAITS: iâm outta here
/slaps saddle
GIDDY UP
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CorporalMartin: HEE HAW
/trots into horizon
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