Best Of

Best new language


Words are such a pain in the ass. Wouldn’t it be better if we could all communicate through color? Without the side effects of hallucinogenic drugs? Lucky for you, Daniel Wright has invented a new language and he’ll teach it to you for $150. Essentially LESUHORVE (La-soo-hor-veh) looks like color bars on your TV set, but Wright says he chose this Technicolor template because color “plays a very important roll [sic] in psychologically and mentally controlling human emotion.” On second thought, we’ll take the acid.