Best Of

Best Singing-Telegram Company


Post­love quarrel, if your significant other apologized via an enormous, grass-skirted, pink singing gorilla, would you forgive him or her? Thanks to the Best Singing Telegram Company (yes, that’s its name!), everyday people are being wooed by giant bananas, policemen, chickens, and penguins sent to them by loved ones. For the bold, the shameless, and the silly, a mere $85 allows you to embarrass and delight someone with a dancing and singing spectacle of your design. Cops strip down into cow suits and nuns morph into tuxedoed waiters. For a little extra (come on, you just spent $85 on a leprechaun!), the Best Singing Telegram Company will perform an extensive personalized song of your choosing. Beware, however: Some have been known to react violently to such performances, especially when the sender is an ex-lover or jealous boyfriend. Still, while the Best Singing Telegram Company does not guarantee to save marriages, few have the capacity to resist a beagle in a tutu.