Jesse Come Home, There’s a Hole in the Bed Where We Slept


While I was busy mourning the loss of my father, another passing—that of North Carolina Republican Jesse Helms—virtually slipped by me. But now that I’ve been able to confront this historic event, I want to say something important about the nature of our response. I feel very strongly that we shouldn’t stoop to Helms’s level and use his transitioning as a chance to be as callous and hateful as he was. Yes, the man was a vile, wretched bigot who putrefied the democratic system every time he got out of bed, but I don’t feel anyone’s death—even that of someone mealy-mouthed and unappetizing—should give us carte blanche to be in any way disrespectful of human life. Let’s have some dignity, people. After all, the man died! For real! He’s completely bye-bye! No more dumb-assed Jesse! Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!! (sound of champagne popping)