I always assumed square dancing—along with Celine Dion—was the last refuge for straight people. I was reasonably certain I could always walk into a square dancing party and not be worried about running into any of my old boyfriends, gay club stalkers, or Chelsea retail workers. But it’s not true! It turns out the gays don’t only lambada, they square dance too! In public! In fact, Times Squares is a gay and lesbian square dance club that’s been reeling in the queers for years. And they’re giving free introductory classes at PS 3 (490 Hudson Street) on Tuesdays September 16 and 23, from 730 to 930 PM. So meet me there—or meet SOMEBODY there—and we can all do-si-do like happy little ‘mos.