My column this week is a big old manure pile of blind items–no, not gossip updates on Helen Keller, but tidbits about today’s bevy of skanks and stars which I leave the names out of so it becomes an infuriating yet tantalizing guessing game to drive you cuckoo with. I used to crack “If you guess Courtney Love, you’re usually right,” but now the palette of misbehavin’ divas and devos is so much larger that the answers could be just about anybody, from The Hills to Hedda Gabler. But most likely, it’s just Amy Winehouse.
Anyway, here’s a sample of the column’s most unnerving items for you to gnaw on:
Which faded action hero once crapped in the shower of a Vegas casino just because he could? (No shit!) Which ex child star was begged by that woozy actress to take the three-way out of her book, but got to keep it in after she threatened to put in far more damaging things? Which young TV actress turned chick-bonding-type-movie ensemble player is supposedly so dumb she couldn’t find her name on her own birth certificate if she had to?
Going crazy yet?