McCain’s Perfect Veep: Ted Stevens


We can’t wait for Friday, when John McCain is supposed to announce his running mate (or Thursday, when word is destined to “leak”). Seriously, we really can’t wait. So, based on what happened yesterday in Alaska’s GOP senatorial primary, the clear choice has to be Ted Stevens.

For one thing, the 84-year-old coot would make McCain seem fresh-faced, just as Dick Cheney made George W. Bush seem human.

For another, Stevens is already snarled in major money scandals — he would bring the kind of experience to the White House that McCain has generally eschewed since the last time he zipped up Charlie Keating in the ’80s.

And he’s a proven winner. As the New York Times points out, he won Tuesday’s primary “less than a month after he was indicted by a federal grand jury for concealing more than $250,000 in gifts from an oil services company.”

Many of Bush’s shady characters — including Tom DeLay, Wampumgate‘s Jack Abramoff, Scooter Libby — weren’t formally accused of being crooks until they first spent significant time either polishing the White House silver or stealing it.

Finally, Stevens showed yesterday that he’s in touch with the electorate (in Alaska, at least) — he wants to loot, they want to loot. Again from the Times:

In another closely fought Alaska race, a petition initiative intended to increase protections for clean water and streams where salmon live was easily defeated. Known as Ballot Measure 4, the initiative was largely aimed at fighting the development of the proposed Pebble Mine, a vast deposit of copper and gold that is near the headwaters of Bristol Bay, one of the Pacific Ocean’s most productive runs of salmon.