Come on, step right up, click here, read the fucking column, and soothe my rapacious ego. We both deserve it! You’ll get a mouthful of big-name celebs like Jeremy Piven, Tyler Perry, and somebody from a show on AMC. And I’ll get a slight yet palpable career boost, not to mention the knowledge that I’ve elevated and informed you in the most responsible manner imaginable. It’s a win-win! So go ahead and click, bitches! You want I should send you a dollar?