Sources as famously skeptical as the New Yorker have reported that the novelist Don DeLillo is blogging for the Onion as part of the satirical newspaper’s ‘War For the White House’ election coverage. Could this possibly be true? The evidence, in part:
He speaks in your voice, American, and he’s blogging right next to me, as I type my own blog, in this our blogging age. Our faces fixated with vigorous purpose on glowing rectangular screens, measured in centimeters. In the air, invisible information. Uploads, downloads. Waves and radiation. Surrounding us both, on every side of the lobby, dozens more do exactly the same, typing with their thumbs into tiny silver death machines.
This is the passage from which he’s apparently pulled his online nom de guerre, ‘Tiny Silver Death Machine.’ Now, admittedly, DeLillo in the last decade or so has often read like his own best parodist—e.g. Cosmopolis. And it’s unclear what’s more demoralizing, what would be more depressing: the prospect of DeLillo actually writing that above first sentence, or the more general reality that that it’s actually impossible to now tell whether or not any given ridiculous statement written even vaguely in the author’s voice in fact came from creator of Underworld. But this is, uh, definitely a fraud.
There is a meet-and-greet with the guy from the Doobie Brothers…A voice from the subconscious: Toyota Corola [sic].