A few viral-marketing executives were probably sitting around talking about that Sarah Silverman video about getting Jews to vote for Obama and one of them said, “You know what’s wrong with that video?” and the other said, “It’s almost funny?” and the first one said “Yeah, but besides that,” and the other one said, “It’s too subtle?” and the first one said, “That too, but why did they use Sarah Silverman?” and the other said “Because she wrote it?” and the other one said, “You know, more people would have seen The Curse of the Jade Scorpion if it starred Brad Pitt instead of Woody Allen,” and then they both nodded sagely and made this video, in which Jessica Alba, Hayden Panettiere and Tristan Wilds do a corporate-Christmas-video sketch for getting out the youth vote.
The joke is that if don’t vote, you’ve chosen to wear a muzzle, sold QVC-style by Alba. Be warned before you click: Do you remember the “I Am Muscular Dystrophy and I Hate People, Especially Little Children” monologues they used to do on the Jerry Lewis Telethon? It’s kind of like when the one with Patty Duke, only less well-rehearsed. If you want a kid to vote, tell him/her they’re giving out iPod nanos instead.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 3, 2008