Our Man Sietsema and the ‘Jiz Biz’


Never one to let a dirty joke go untold, Our Man Sietsema has a good time recounting his exploits at Cafe Sim Sim, where the veal organs are called “Jiz Biz,” and where, sadly, the proprietor was all out of testicle stew. Okay, but other than the ball jokes, how was the food?

Cafe Sim Sim is in Kensington, Brooklyn, and specializes in Russian and Caucasian food (not white people food but cuisine of the region that includes Georgia, Armenia and Azerbaijan). This excites Our Man very much, as he hasn’t seen a Caucasian restaurant in Kensington for a while. He gets a big group together, and they sample a banquet’s worth of food. The highlights:

Removed from the skewers, the kebabs sail in on a single long platter, with the meat heaped around excellent, dill-decorated french fries. With our party of eight, the platter was the size of a small Russian tank…One of our favorites was lulya kebab, ground lamb shot with onions. As succulent as an overripe piece of fruit, each meat torpedo came wrapped in a ribbon of thin flatbread that might be mistaken for a Flushing Avenue tortilla. And, man—meat doesn’t get much better than that. Pork-neck kebab was the very best, big gobbets of coarsely textured meat glistening with fat.

That sounds a lot better than balls to me.