Shine, Mister? Pete Hamill Solves The Economic Crisis


We just saw Pete Hamill on Joe Scarborough’s morning show. In a blame-the-victim rant, he posited that house-flipping, free-spending citizens hadn’t gone through the Depression like he had, owned “five cell phones and one iPod,” and therefore had no understanding of the value of a hard-earned American dollar. The old newsman suggested that parents send their children out to shine shoes, “like Pat Moynahan did” to buy their own clothes for school.

We couldn’t hear his next words very well over our laughing fit, but we think he also demanded the kids go out and get some fresh air, play stickball, and then go down to Pop’s for a malted. We only ask: why didn’t he tell ’em to become newsboys? That would also solve the problems of our newspaper economy — put ink in their veins and they’re be reading papers on the crapper through the 22nd Century!

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 16, 2008


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