Axis of Evil: Steinbrenner Teams With Dallas Cowboys


His number remains 666, but we have a new name for the Beast: Legends Hospitality Management (LLC), a facilities management company whose founders include Yankees capo George Steinbrenner and Dallas Cowboys GM Jerry Jones. (They are pictured above, creating a portal to hell by linking their forehooves.) Legends begins its quest for world domination by devouring the concessions, catering and merchandising contracts for the new Yankees and Cowboys Stadiums.

For extra added evil, this demonic union has been blessed by a $100 million loan from Goldman Sachs, and will be headed by the former President of Pizza Hut. It is rumored that other executive positions will be filled by Robert Mugabe and Tom Arnold. (h/t Peter Abraham.)